Hello all this is my first entry and I am Leroy. My blog begins with my family and I strugle to get into church on a more regular basis.
I have been a member of Bowmar Baptist since 2004. Since then I have moved to and from New Orleans, LA. I used to attend church on a regular basis, but over the years I have lacked going to church faithfully as I church hop from one church to another. I have not felt at home in any of the churches I have entered as to a period of time after I enter I leave and sometimes not return.
Part of my reasoning honestly I have been struggling with my faith as well as a battle going on amongst myself with good and evil thoughts. I am married with a two year old daughter come Monday and a two month old son. My wife is 24 as I am 29. I used to know a nice bit about the bible, but strugling with my faith and lack of church my knowledge of the bible is not as it should. I'm disabled and have been for most of my life while my wife is a cna. She just had our son and was to return to work, but Claiborne County Nursing Center removed her from her 7a-7p schedule though she has worked there for over two years. They claimed they could no longer hold her 7a-7p schedule, but they wold use her as a prn as needed cna until they get a 3-11 or 7-3 shift.
My income is $750.00 monthly, but I have a loan to pay on each month of $274.38, rent of $75.00, carnote of $312.00, car insurance of $110.00, light bill of around $70.00 to $80.00 monthly, waterbill of $41.33, gas bill roughly around $60.00 monthly, garbage pick up and sewer of $30.00 monthly, phonebill which includes internet, and cable around $100.00 to $150.00 monthly, and gas to get back and forth not to mention tolietries, wipes, diapers, pullups, groceries,and such items.
My income is not enough to pay all of our bills as we are really struggling.
No one here in the town we live in is really doing a lot of hiring. We also have no money to move where she can get work from nor a lot of family support. For a long time even before this struggle I have had issues with my faith based on a lot happenning to me. I have been disabled since I have been in school, I'e been picked on a lot when I was younger, people didn't respect me, some people still don't respect me, I'm always being judged for things out of my control, I have always struggled amongst peers, family, and relationships, I've been beat up, I have been broke a lot in life, and I feel as if no one ever cared. That is part of the reason why I have always had a struggle with faith. I have even been and still is n outcast in my own family. To what is for me and how do I regain my faith?
My struggle with faith is so bad that I can barely pickup and open my own bible, but when I do manage to open it I hardl read it and what I read I don't remember nor understand. What am I to do? How are we to survive? How do I regain my faith if not for myself, but my kids and wife? How do I continue to be apart of church knowing my faith is so low? I struggle with demons evil thoughts while I try topray, read my bible, and attend church. What am I to do about that? I am lost and no one has tried to help me as I have tried to help self spiitually, but everytime I fail and feels as if sometimes God lets me.
The only thing in the bible I remember is john 3:16 for God so loved the world he gave his only beotton son, so that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. I try to keep that scripture with me as it's the first one I learned and only one I remember, because it means something to me I just don't know what.
Comments
lost, worried
First giving honor to GOD who is the head of my life. Hey first born I really symphathize with you . I have been there and I know where you are coming from, but you have to hold on to GODS unchainging hand, All that you are going through is a trick of the enemy, the thoughts of evil is all the trick of the enemy, you have to stop giving the devil the authority to come into your life . every time you speak his name you open the door. Jesus said in John 15:7 Ifyou abide in Me, and My words in you,ask whatever you wish,and it shall be done for you."Listening to the Bible on cassette tape is a good way to memorize His Word, even playing it all night longside your bed. I am truly a person who believes that GOD's Word is the way He speaks to us and it is up to us to hear HIM. Now about you not going to church, are not finding a church were you feel at home, If you are ever down in southeast Texas, or a place called vinton louisiana, come to Toomey LA. we believe in one faith, one GOD, and one baptism, you have to be baptised, in Jesus name for the remission of your sins and you will receive the gift of the HOLY GHOST ACTS 2: 38,41 This church I have been a member for about 4 years and I still have trials but all those evil thoughts are gone we are HOLYGHOST filled people who believe in the truth that is the word of GOD if it is not in the Bible then we do not believe it. It has to line up with the word of GOD.Now not fellowshiping with GOD. Every believer is called to fellowship with GOD, according to1 Corinthians1:9. "Fellowship" means "to have companionship, partner-ship,communion; to simply spend time with." A "call" means "a summons, a request or n invitation." Jesus modeled this call to fellowship by going to the mountain to pray all night, especially when making major decisions. (Luke 6:12,13). Thank Him for what He has done, and He will continue to do. Say this prayer everyday all day O Lord open my lips, that my mouth may declare Thy praise (Psalm 51:15).And in all thy ways acknowledge Him. and He will make your paths straight (proverb 3:6). So stay straight keep your head towards the hills thats were your strenght comes from. and in all things count it JOY God hears your prayers so DO NOT give up. I am praying for you.
FAITH!!!
I feel for you but you are giving so much over to the devil. HEBREWS 11:1 Faith is the substance of things HOPED for and the EVIDENCE of things UNSEEN. That means...you hope for your families income, your health and well being BUT...the EVIDENCE is not there.
It is sooo easy to have FAITH when everything is going our way, it is the FAITH that we have when they are not going well that reaches GOD!! Hold your head up!! you are a child of a KING!!! He owns the world and everything in it! The devil has to get GODS permission before he is even allowed to mess with you. Did you know that? Read JOB! I can almost say with out even knowing you that you have never went through what JOB did but...in the end GOD blessed him and gave him more in the latter than the beginning.
Now..if you want to make that $750.00 grow pay your tithes freely and without remorse for GOD loves a cheerful giver. Little is much when God is in it. GOd has an endless bank account.!! I have seen God take $500.00 and make $5000.00 out of it!
God is a good God and he never changes!! the very fact that he let you wake up and draw another breath shows HE loves you. He is ever pulling at your heart strings because HE don't want you to be lost.
Humble yourself and quit worrying about your family and fitting in. Have faith and let God do the rest.
Find you a church and take your family. You are the head. Lead them. It won't be easy but it will be worth it!!!!
Family trials
Friend, the Scripture says "Be strong and of a good courage" (Joshua 1.9). Please read the rest of that verse when you get a chance.
I would like to think that if anyone can sympathize with you, it is me. I will tell you why and then I am convinced that I can give you some sound advice from the Scriptures and from experience.
I first put my trust in Jesus when I was a freshman at J.C. Smith University in Charlotte, N.C. back in 1983. Before that, I was a honors student from D.C. whose was struggling with future decisions as well as dealing with a single mom with her struggles. I was also diagnosed with Grave's disease. So I was at a point when I was ready to die until the LORD in His mercy sent a young evangelist to tell me about Him. At that point, I put my trust in Jesus as my LORD and Saviour. To demonstrate my the truthfulness of my conversion, before my transaction with Jesus, I had a air of confidence which bordered on arrogance, especially when it came to taking tests. I felt like there wasn't a test that could take that I could not pass. Yet after my conversion, I found that I could not even pass a simple algebra quiz! The point I make here is that the devil was using my God-given talents to eventually destroy me. Now the LORD was going to show me His way.
The attacks didn't end. I got baptized at a Progressive Baptist church. (I was introduced to it by a fellow student.) I was shown by my evangelist brother, named Richard, that their teachings weren't consistent with the Bible. (I realize that I am going to upset anyone who believes in the laying on of hands, speaking with tongues crowd, but...) Arlene told me that I had to return to church the following week after my immersion in water to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. She and Richard debated this issue before me. When she got so angry with Richard that she got down right emotional, I was convinced by the LORD that the devil was already trying to seduce me into error. (That and a couple of other things I saw at the church that disturbed me. The Holy Ghost, who is God, will not fill someone who goes out and SINS, willfully or otherwise.)
All in all, I failed my one semester in college due to the effects of the disease. And my confidence was so shot that it was 10 months before I had the strength to pick up a phone to start calling around for a job.
I will quickly share the rest of my story. I eventually found a job, which eventually lead me to my current job with the Post Office. I got strong in the LORD via studying my KJV and studying the comic books and tracts by Jack Chick. I went from one church to another until I settled with an independent, fundamental Baptist church. I learned and grew, but saw that some things were wrong, like with EVERY CHURCH. Bottom line is, I eventually left that church, and another which the realization that the LORD wants us to stop looking at what others are doing before we are to SEEK HIM OUT IN EVERYTHING!! Maybe I will elaborate more about myself with you sometime.
Now, to help you with your issues, ask yourself, are you willing to SACRIFICE your worldly pleasures? Are you willing to give up EVERYTHING to do things the LORD' s way? If not, then any counsel is a waste of time.
First thing I noticed was the cable/phone/internet bill. Cut it off! If you NEED the Internet, downgrade to basic DSL. The phone, find a smaller phone company like TalkAmerica. Also, you don't really need the extra features that come with the phone bill like call waiting and call forwarding. The cable, my advice is to cut it off and use that time to read and study your Bible. Whether you are in church or not, you can still do that.
The loan of $274/mo.: how much longer do you have to pay on it? Maybe you can renegotiate the amount and terms, but you have to talk to somebody about that. The interest spread may be longer with a new term loan agreement, but the payments still can be lowered.
My main advice is to pray and trust. As easy as that may sound, you are still commanded by the LORD TO DO SO (Philippians 4.6,7; Matthew 6.33). (I suspect that the LORD has ALREADY given you your solution; you are simply not trusting and obeying Him. How can I say that? From my own experience.) He PROMISES to lead and guide you into ALL TRUTH (John 16.13), but you have to trust Him. If you don't ask, you WON'T receive. If your motives aren't right (James 4.4), you won't. Make it a habit to read the Bible, study it, memorize verses on a DAILY basis. And quote Scripture out loud if you must whenever temptation comes around, like Jesus did in Matthew 4.
Is there some sin that you are clinging on to? If so, repent and turn from it.
As far as church attendance, my advice would be to simply pray about it, then seek out a church that is independent and fundamental Baptist (in spite of my past experience, they and the closest as far preaching from the Word of God in terms of FAITH and PRACTICE; very important).
If you are not sure of the church attendance, and would like an independent voice of advice, go to www.chick.com.
As far as the other bits of advice that you have received, the person from Louisiana makes it seem that you NEVER received Jesus as Saviour. But that is what a lot of tongues-speaking churches do. You have doubts. I don't know a Christian who DOESN'T struggle with doubt at times. (Elijah, that mighty prophet of God who He used to rain fire down from Heaven, doubted the LORD when he became afraid of Jezebel's threats, for example.) You don't need a Christian (professing or otherwise) helping to reinforce your doubts. The mere fact of your lamentations here prove to me that you are a Christian. If you already put your trust in Jesus and followed Him in baptism, you don't have to do that again (Hebrews 6.1,2). And baptizing in the name of Jesus, or Father, Son, Holy Ghost; it doesn't make a difference.
As far as the woman minister, not that you CAN'T learn something from her, but church order and ministry is for a reason. To do contrary adds, takes away and changes the Word of God. And there is judgement when you do so, regardless of feelings and opinions.
Friend, seek the LORD with your WHOLE HEART. He is more than willing to help you. But you must LISTEN to Him as evidenced by your OBEDIENCE to the light already given to you. As a single African-American dad of three nearly-grown daughters, and the struggles that come with raising them without child support and consistent help from the church and immediate family, I know from experience what great things the LORD will do if you listen and obey.
Family Trials
I'm also going through some of the same trails as you all. I just spoke to an Evangelist at my church, as she told me that test & trails are going to come, but you must go through in order to become strong. If you move out of the struggle you can miss your blessing. I understood. It is not easy going through the fire, but in order to come out as pure gold, you must stand still. So many times I wanted to give up and quit everything, but God says no. I'm very active at my church and nothing was fulfilling to me. Listen to the voice of God by reading and praying. God is just a prayer away. Get into a quiet place, pray and read your Word. Your answer is there.
Now about the baptism, it does make a difference. The name of Jesus is the Name above all names. The Name Jesus, is the only Name the can heal, and deliver. Father Son & Holy Ghost are just titles and can not deliver or cleanse you. The Word of God says in Acts 2:38 be baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ. These are not my words, they are from the Lord himself. Who can argue with that?
I am a missionary in my
I am a missionary in my church and my husband is a minister. We have only been married 5 years and now have two children: a 1 year old and a three year old. I am so tired of being the one who does everything around the house. He cooks but only because when he complained about mine for the ump-teen time, I just stopped trying. He complains if I ask him to take out the garbage and hates it if I mention the yard needs to be mowed. He really doesn't care if the house is clean or not but I hate a messy home. But he hardly helps. Before I had the girls, he told me he thought I had a disorder because of my need to have a clean house. I work two jobs, have a home business on the side, and I'm working on my masters degree in college. He works one job. How am I supposed to do everything around the house and work? I've even mowed the lawn before when he just kept saying he would get around to it eventually, and never did. He said he would paint the house. He's too cheap to hirer anyone and he only started painting when I went and bought the paint and brushes and my brother and I started on it. After I got tired and went in the house for a few minutes he stopped too and left my brother out there alone. He didn't even clean his paint brush or throw it away. He just left it out there. And it never got finished. If I don't have a job, we can't make it financially. I have gotten so resentful that I have stopped helping with the bills. Last night he suggested bankrupcy after two months of me not helping? I guess maybe more. I told him forget it, I would take care of the bills from now on. I've started thinking in my mind that if I can get to the point that I know I can take the garbage out and cook, I can just move out on my own. He does help with the girls, but it is so much he just leaves undone. I believe you train your children and your spouse how to treat you and I realize that 5 years is hardly a long time, but when does it get easier? I just don't know if I'm going to make it in this marriage. I can do bad all by myslef, I don't need any dead weight slowing me down. Once he told me he wanted out too becuase of the bills. Every since then I've been trying to save money to move out. He just doesn't seem to have a self starter button. I don't want to be a nagging wife. I want my children to grow up with both their parents. What do I do?
I know godness and cleaness
I know godness and cleaness go together and for both of you to know the LORD I know yall can find a answer in the word to help yall to over come this matter because this to shall pass. God honor marriage not that we don,t have issue but its a give and take thing. I'm living a save life but as of now my husband have't came on in, we have four children and done file bankruptcy and bankruptcy wasn't the answer because we still have finance problem but LOVE conqueror all.
god honor marriage
I don't know when it will get better ,but I do know Love conquor all and godness and cleaness go together.Do not allow the devil to break up your home for both of you to know the Lord yall have power over the enemy and this to shall pass.
In all things give thanks
I just posted a comment about how tired I am strugglng in my marriage. Then I began to read other comments on this sight and realized that I am doing so much better than I thought. I love the Lord and He has been so good to me. I just want to repent for being so self involved.
There is help for your family trials
My husband left me after 14 years of marriage for another woman that was a co-worker. I had always believed in God and tried to live a honest, good, clean life. Jesus actually came to me by way of a phone call from one of the tv Chritian shows. I prayed with the person that called, by the way in those days they didn't call you, you called them. I thought that was odd. Anyway, I had to take care of my two children alone. I was 19 when I was married, and had never really worked. For 10 years or so, Jesus took care of myself and my two children, plus a grandson that was born out of wedlock to my daughter at the age of 16. I had no family to help me. I had no choice but to trust in Jesus and the promises that were in the bible. One of the first things that helped was to pay my tithes. I payed tithes on my only income which was child support and alimony. Jesus never let us spend one night on the streets or go without a meal. I had to depend on Him for everything down to the toliet paper and things of that nature. I stayed in the word, and went to church when I could. If you are interested in details of how different people and organizations helped me, I would be glad to e-mail you. There are many many ways to get the help you need. It wasn't easy, but I would not give up those trials for anything. They made me strong and forced me to call on God. Be like a sponge and study the word of God and ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand what you are reading. Jesus and his word is the answer.
You choose every aspect of
You choose every aspect of your life.
You can choose to turn any aspect around at any moment.
That is the gift of His peace be with you always.
And also with me? Why thank-you my friends!
the living word
I will trust in the Lord, all the days of my life,God has been good to me, I don't worry about tomorrow, because I know who holds it, I have been down and out as well but I didnot give up on my faith because I know God didnot bring me this far to leave me, so I will always keep the faith and I will never give up, GOD is a just God and he will never leave us or forsake us
Dear brother
Dear brother,
just want to encourage you to remember that you are the righteousness of God, when you became a believer in Christ, he declared you righteous, He became sin so that you could become righteous,2corinthians 5vr 21, He became a curse so that you would become blessed. Galatians 3 vr 13-14. The devil is using comdemnation to keep you in bondage. Romans 8vr1 says there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, and that's where you are IN CHRIST, your life is hid in Him. Christ dealt with your sins on calvery past present and future. Study the word of God to see what God says about who you are in Christ. The enemy doesn't want you to read the word of God, he is telling you that you are not even worthy, Satan has no power over you any more, on Christ RESURRECTION He took all power back from the devil colossians 3 vr 15. The devil will want to use the Law to condem you trying to keep this law and that law which is impossible, the law was given to show us that we are sinners. New Covenant, God has made us righteous through His grace in Christ Jesus, Galatians 2vr 21 tells us that if we live by the law we have fallen already from grace, the law brings a curse because you have to keep every law Galatians 3 vr 10-11, and only Jesus done that. Christ has fulfilled the law, the law was our tutor to lead us to Christ galatians 4 vr 24-25. We have a new covenant We now live by faith in Jesus Christ. And if you do sin you have an advocate Jesus Christ the righteous1st John 2vr1. If you find that you sin habitually then you need to ask yourself am I TRULY SAVED. Do not let condemnation keep you away from the Lord once you know that You are His. Thank God for the word that you hold deep in your heart, john 3 vr 16. Walk in the victory knowing who you are in christ, It's what Christ has done DEATH BURIAL AND RESSURECTION that gives us the victory, it's His rightheouness not by our good works, Romans 4vr5. EPHESIANS chpt1 is all about who you are in Christ. You will know the truth and the truth will make you free John 8vr 32. praying for you.
Family and Finance
Me and my husband being going through finance difference about three years now and I feel that I'm the blame for it because I took a lesser paying job. He feel like I betrayed him because before we got the house and cars he explain to me that I would need to keep my job and I told him I would and I didn't even though I told him I was sorry for not sticking to my words our finance problem is still here.I'm living a save life befroe the Lord and paying my thithe faifthfully , but I don't know if I should stick with the job I have or go back into the furniture plant or find a second job to help more but we have four kids and that another reason i think i don't need a second job i need to be with them.
Sin will take you further than you want to go.
I just want to commend every one on how they are sharing spiritual and personal life online like this. I to have some knowledge of the Lord. To family trails, I really hope you don't give in to this wicked world of sin like i did. Some time today i was thinking about what a brother asked me when i backslide, he ask me why did i leave God, he never did any thing to me? Well at that time I had just got married and after the honeymoon it all went down hill. There was alot of reasons for me to leave my husband, in fact, ileft him so many times that I was know as "The Run Away Bride." Since then I've indulge myself in things i haven't been able to break away from. The bible speaks in Matthew 12:43-45 that when the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. I haven't found no rest since i backslide. verse 44 says: then he saith, i will return into my house from whence i came out;and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. verse 45 says: Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation. For all who is reading this remember, if you turn away from God, those seven demons WILL be living within you. The cigarette demon, weed demon, anger demon, lying demon, lazy demon, hateful demon, and unclean demon has took over and my sins has took me further than i want to go. I remember when my daughter found out i started smoking cigarettes again it broke her heart and i assured her that i was gonna quit. That was three years ago. I recently like two or three days ago started praying, after each prayer i felt better about myself. God has lifted something i just don't know what it is yet. Keep fighting for your life because it's you that God deal with on judgement day, not no one but you.
Stay prayer up people,
Pray 4 me. MSB
Faith
Hello dear brother in Christ;
First and foremost give glory to God dear brother. I too have felt the poverty of our area. My husband was laid off from his job of 8yrs last June and drew his last unemployment check on Dec.7th yet still God in His infinite mercy has seen to our needs daily! Seek Him in constant prayer dear brother and He will comfort you and your family. Even if you offer Him the Lord's Prayer two to three times daily, it will open your heart to Him so that you can reap the rewards of His comfort. He will guide you if you seek Him fervently through prayer. He will perform miracles for you and guide you in His mercy so Pray,Pray,Pray!
I will remember you in prayer and you remember Him as well fervently with prayer and watch His glory begin to transform your faith.................
sin
Yes I agree that sin will keep you out there and will take you futher than you want to go,but the holy spirit will keep you if you want to be kept.
Post new comment